hospitable afraid of worms
late so, so tired.
I have to just provide a bio prepared speech. yes very late, but only because I started at 1 with marc phone calls.
well, I was not particularly keen on letting me go to make it to the Department. read after the first I got really bad and then when I finally saw on wikipedia too disgusting pictures, I was right to throw up after mute. baaaaaaaaaaah ...
must have the first Lucas and then tell marc and could not work on my presentation. yes I know stupid excuse. then got on the phone with Marc. One night he called me, so at half past 5 in order to be exactly 4.22. I am in the morning woke up quite early because it was the morning when we went to Dusseldorf early. just now he told me that he was right, damn shit, the worst depression since a long time. I did really sorry that I did not go to the phone, although my cell phone next to my ear, was not only was in range, but even in earshot. but apparently my consciousness faded, and my subconsciously be aware of it. I do not have the purest one, as far as I know, I woke up in any way or somehow disturbed in my sleep was.
I sleep like rock n.
but this time was not that great, I feel rather bad about it.
talked about many things and i do now seriously considering whether I should not have fear slowly before him. There are reasons that do not enter here the public. ^ ^
yesterday I really wanted out of the bex go to him and watch him play because I knew he was playing Tuesday. but then is only one consideration remained no more than that and. I've just told him then and random as the game failed and been moved to next Monday. so I will probably next week Monday after class quartet go to him and look for the first time how he plays. I am so excited to see how he changes when he plays. anyway I've never seen cs. haha know, but so many other things about cs.
tired tired but not really tired.
have not even mentioned that in my professional work I have a 1! I was glad really super mega moderate and encouraged me enormously in my real self confidence. it shows me the end, what I absolutely need that I can, if I want it and if I like it. I was really obsessed with my subject and have read so much and thought so much about it. Although the review itself was stressful, but a tremendous challenge, which wanted to meet I had to. in the end is not only the note which I received for this work, important, but simply process the work itself and the fun that was so essential to the whole. The note shows me again how much expertise lies in me. if I want, I could be more than that and enough for me for my months until graduation. only this is important.
we have noticed a new reader, I have today. ^ ^ Hiya. I was initially shocked when I said was that someone has read my journal. not necessarily mean that I am ashamed for the written or anything, but it's up to a certain degree of very personal. and I had to think about whether I've written about him. would be disastrous if what he reads about himself that is not so nice. negative surprises. although I do not think of what could be so much negative to write about him. haha
still no plans for the weekend.
is my finished artwork. haha, it's something failed, because the nails were longer than the board, then, are the nails just been down. but I do not really care now. can not hope to make, just that they do not too much I watch it. otherwise I'm happy with the arrangement of the figures, which stand in a relationship. have a photo made of it, maybe I alternate it so pure. ^ ^ Or da!
had romantic moments again today with my cousin, we sat together with apfer and milktea on the swing on the patio and have entertained us. on Monday, we already have talked clock to 1. we totally understand well and have now found that each of us had a very different picture from the other, before we met here with me right at home. now we are great friends and talk about any bullshit. We have already made, that they travel to me increases when we are back in Taiwan. both together. she laughed and said, "when it will be well." I'm happy that we understand us so. It has changed so much.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Enlarged Liver Ultrasound
refektion
after 2nd hour, I went home and took a shower. On the way to my old school I was pretty nervous. I will admit though reluctantly, but I was afraid my old classmates to take. Today, I have indeed seen very few, and they were usually very nice to me.
but I am aware how unpopular and misunderstood where I am. I generally go by the pretty ass, but unfortunately I can not say that it does not affect me. probably does not hurt, but I do have my thoughts. and but these are thought last one for me. I have to think about how I can best protect and how I can best respond to hurt others more than they hurt me.
like to come, because even in a round where you will not like this or that.
today was negligible and it is otherwise the same. but I did not feel good that I had a day like this, think about it.
end I had ne entertainment with andi and Thomas gave me a lift.
arrived, everything was black, but there was light since. While the mourning was in the air, but the wind carried them away to me.
until we in the church and were all slowly came to rest, I was depressed, as the sadness in the air was trapped. it was almost palpable, she lay like a cloud over all mourners. Of course one might say that this event has seen before.
for me it was the first time, it was not only remarkable, but much more depressing.
I stood at the back, looked as little as was heard as little as was felt as little as could. I thought. but the position that I chose was just right for my character, as I found out later. I am certainly not a traditional gafferin, but I like to watch people, discreet and unnoticed. I am not surprised with mouth open, but watch the movements of the person in the smallest details.
maybe that's a mistake, perhaps people should have a coarser observation, so that they do not always see everything, because it might be unpleasant, angering and sad. for themselves and never for the watch.
I did not think that I cry. anyway I did not know what to expect.
my first funeral. I would have probably cried
ncht, I would have recognized not all the hymns that we have time in his religious teaching vorberetet if we all had a worship leading by 3 months.
integrate the melancholy in which sounds, by The whole church seemed sounded as messengers of sadness.
then I felt freer and livelier than at any other time that day.
preaches. sermon. not only that I was not Christian, I hated this drivel.
earlier when I was little, was God and religion no more than one kind of community and a game that we played together. without thinking about the meaning of words and the effect of the symbols, I did what everyone did. I prayed, I said, "we beseech thee, hear us," I was the "Our Father". even the cross.
What a change in me, which is tantamount to the changes over time for nothing like I felt today, as I stood there, in the last row, on the wall, not folded hands, closed eyes to mouth.
I said no, I did not have to imagine.
remember was on my own some of the fair, nothing that said one of those who touched my heart in the least. I see no Jesus and no god.
In the end I was too busy watching the absurdities of other people, label them as ridiculous and then think about what percentage of people are so like that.
"not cry. We sort it out." which require power such words.
he left 2 small children and a woman. and his family and friends and colleagues and students.
hard we can be realistic. I felt like I was in a closed world full of sorrow and sympathy. Time seemed to stand still, just for this man to remember him to show him their last respects. everything from world seemed ignorant of this, was ignorant, for they ran out of time without further obstacles. our time, however, stopped so we had the opportunity to capture what happened, what happened and what will happen.
this statement probably pushes everything out at once. do not cry, we can do it.
do we have another choice?
I leave it at that today.
after 2nd hour, I went home and took a shower. On the way to my old school I was pretty nervous. I will admit though reluctantly, but I was afraid my old classmates to take. Today, I have indeed seen very few, and they were usually very nice to me.
but I am aware how unpopular and misunderstood where I am. I generally go by the pretty ass, but unfortunately I can not say that it does not affect me. probably does not hurt, but I do have my thoughts. and but these are thought last one for me. I have to think about how I can best protect and how I can best respond to hurt others more than they hurt me.
like to come, because even in a round where you will not like this or that.
today was negligible and it is otherwise the same. but I did not feel good that I had a day like this, think about it.
end I had ne entertainment with andi and Thomas gave me a lift.
arrived, everything was black, but there was light since. While the mourning was in the air, but the wind carried them away to me.
until we in the church and were all slowly came to rest, I was depressed, as the sadness in the air was trapped. it was almost palpable, she lay like a cloud over all mourners. Of course one might say that this event has seen before.
for me it was the first time, it was not only remarkable, but much more depressing.
I stood at the back, looked as little as was heard as little as was felt as little as could. I thought. but the position that I chose was just right for my character, as I found out later. I am certainly not a traditional gafferin, but I like to watch people, discreet and unnoticed. I am not surprised with mouth open, but watch the movements of the person in the smallest details.
maybe that's a mistake, perhaps people should have a coarser observation, so that they do not always see everything, because it might be unpleasant, angering and sad. for themselves and never for the watch.
I did not think that I cry. anyway I did not know what to expect.
my first funeral. I would have probably cried
ncht, I would have recognized not all the hymns that we have time in his religious teaching vorberetet if we all had a worship leading by 3 months.
integrate the melancholy in which sounds, by The whole church seemed sounded as messengers of sadness.
then I felt freer and livelier than at any other time that day.
preaches. sermon. not only that I was not Christian, I hated this drivel.
earlier when I was little, was God and religion no more than one kind of community and a game that we played together. without thinking about the meaning of words and the effect of the symbols, I did what everyone did. I prayed, I said, "we beseech thee, hear us," I was the "Our Father". even the cross.
What a change in me, which is tantamount to the changes over time for nothing like I felt today, as I stood there, in the last row, on the wall, not folded hands, closed eyes to mouth.
I said no, I did not have to imagine.
remember was on my own some of the fair, nothing that said one of those who touched my heart in the least. I see no Jesus and no god.
In the end I was too busy watching the absurdities of other people, label them as ridiculous and then think about what percentage of people are so like that.
"not cry. We sort it out." which require power such words.
he left 2 small children and a woman. and his family and friends and colleagues and students.
hard we can be realistic. I felt like I was in a closed world full of sorrow and sympathy. Time seemed to stand still, just for this man to remember him to show him their last respects. everything from world seemed ignorant of this, was ignorant, for they ran out of time without further obstacles. our time, however, stopped so we had the opportunity to capture what happened, what happened and what will happen.
this statement probably pushes everything out at once. do not cry, we can do it.
do we have another choice?
I leave it at that today.
Monday, September 6, 2004
Brownie Patch Placement
The rats are now allowed off the ship.
dieses journal ist hiermit offiziell stillgelegt. erstens kann so ein journal nicht von bloß sporadischen einträgen leben, zweitens glaube ich gar nicht (mehr), daß ich ein journal-mensch bin, und drittens kann ich inzwischen ja auch ins S-Zine schreiben.
da mich nekrophilie abtörnt, ist ein widerausgraben unwahrscheinlich.
aber ich pack das teil in den glassarg, für die voyeure... und meine nostalgie-attacken.
gute nacht
das wave-chamaeleon
dieses journal ist hiermit offiziell stillgelegt. erstens kann so ein journal nicht von bloß sporadischen einträgen leben, zweitens glaube ich gar nicht (mehr), daß ich ein journal-mensch bin, und drittens kann ich inzwischen ja auch ins S-Zine schreiben.
da mich nekrophilie abtörnt, ist ein widerausgraben unwahrscheinlich.
aber ich pack das teil in den glassarg, für die voyeure... und meine nostalgie-attacken.
gute nacht
das wave-chamaeleon
Tuesday, June 8, 2004
What Do They Use For Lens Transplant
"Gothic"? - RUN! It mutated again!
"Es wird nicht besser." (unbekannte deutsche band)
nach langer abstinenz krieche ich wieder aus meinem kreativen stillstandsloch. and seriously: I was wondering, einzusargen the journal. it started to stink already almost.
part was the lack of time, for my part in it that the "big", just personal things too hard for a public journal are ... and the third at the appropriate wonder if all this is worth, and if I do not much too big neck on the whole black-scene-quark have to give me a comment inflict.
paradoxically I read something today and thought, "The cup is full!
if one wants to play in a few hours at least twice the head on the table top and to even ashamed to have ever referred to as "gothic" and then ... yes, then that must get out.
I quote.
---------
From: Gothic as an expression of lived magic
Newsgroups:: X
Subject ---
date :2004-06-07 03:17:37 PST
Gothic is. ................
Greetings X
- --------
yes, are you flat, what.
I particularly like the imagery. especially the "dark erotic energy" and the "demon of lust" are talking to everyone. The photographs and Express readers, who even then the pictures of Manuela Ruda (in paint on the cemetery) and naked Satanist cult sacrifice, kneeling before her veiled master, has brought down a secret.
okay, I might have the "experience far above emotional average speeds" (oh, there are more average than ONE!) Are not as stressed because I've asked this once, what one's used to do at the below-average intelligence.
but "to fight for the ideals of the night" would turn shawm sounded like sweet in the ears of every teenage, poetry zurechtkritzelnden outsiders "gossick" be. and who is always already frustrated by too little recognition, which is all too happy with the "elite" of the "black war" identify, even if it is just fat people with too much stage make-up, pseudo-angry grunzmusikhörer with "magic library" or exaggerated breasts-with-ass-intelligence vacuum container is, who meet once a year on the wgt.
really super prerequisites for wide popularity. has
the X in this newsgroup but not receive. Instead, call even loud when was the Gothic, then it would be time, the "gothic" to be removed from the title of the news group - the main thing is it would create "the Spacken" from the neck. because X was also not at all amused and then immediately withdrew the mitdiskutierenden arbitrarily the GothCard:
It just keeps getting horny, are now for you at once the people of the goth scene all Spacken? How can it be to be an absolute reside in a Gothic-enemy as long as such designated group? Was it not you at all clear what the goth scene?
no, it was not clear. I was a very different planet that would not even come on the edge of the orbit of X in contact. your bac is my bac, but I is not your gothic gothic.
but X was very accommodating and made it all again recorded in detail (quotes of the previous speaker are set in italics, notes of mine are underlined):
I mean, I like listening to Bauhaus, Virgin Prunes, Sex Gang Children and Christian Death
Gothic is not a genre, or even a musical style
well, first time I am happy about every newbie who thinks that, exceptionally not only gothic clothes and Satanism is - ie: hell, yes, and whether that has to do with a musical style! and secondly, contrary to X, the very next paragraph by features of the "real" gothic-music are listed :
but shall clearly a scene and associated lifestyle, as described above. The Gothic's a rather listen to music and bandwidth ranging from Death Metal to selected songs from the pop mainstream. They have in common texts clearly magical, esoteric content and corresponding stylistic expression and instrumentation. Gothics-songs are essentially based on the harmonic and choral structures of Celtic folklore and magical ritual chants, the text of ideas come along and from the major schools of magic
classic Gothic era, including the then dress and behavior. Goths gather for ritual reasons, the typical dance and movement behavior
also the courtship ?
Tranceritualien the medieval secret societies are borrowed.
goths take themselves as directly from the Middle Ages people incarnated true
ZAPP!
the emotional nor the time of the Gothic Cultures are bound.
you often have the ability to go back to their previous lives, have more healing sized, psychic abilities
course they have this would be out for as the SENSE quarkgebrösel in the whole thing when it gifted normal whole, less interesting and only moderately people would have to operate like all other sex in missionary position and proceed to fuck the loo! - No, you will also want to contact this beauty can be special. For example, a thousand-year-old soul :
and my people recognize, that they involved more than a thousand years in very magical unearthly way.
but Eh ... somehow I seem to have missed the gothic development.
This has been in the goth scene from the outset, because there have been no development of anything. You have until today and probably not only knew what Gothic really is.
scholli my dear. I can accept that the so-called "goths" were originally nothing but a mixture of fine punk and new romantics. I can accept that today's "gothic" scene quite a shit has to do with what was in the 80s and early 90s as a waver and Goths began. that is verifiable, experienced, and sometimes sad reality.
why someone now has broken for THIS diffuse esoteric Satanism child-sex-rebellion-magic-mixture of all the term "gothic" under the nail, I shall forever remain a mystery. because even if you "gothic" translated and therefore receives the epoch of Gothic, not even the goths will have so stood beside him.
sometimes I'm damn glad that almost nobody knows what "Waver" are.
've now often hit his head on the table. makes me an 'nen bound to the bulge, right?
"Es wird nicht besser." (unbekannte deutsche band)
nach langer abstinenz krieche ich wieder aus meinem kreativen stillstandsloch. and seriously: I was wondering, einzusargen the journal. it started to stink already almost.
part was the lack of time, for my part in it that the "big", just personal things too hard for a public journal are ... and the third at the appropriate wonder if all this is worth, and if I do not much too big neck on the whole black-scene-quark have to give me a comment inflict.
paradoxically I read something today and thought, "The cup is full!
if one wants to play in a few hours at least twice the head on the table top and to even ashamed to have ever referred to as "gothic" and then ... yes, then that must get out.
I quote.
---------
From: Gothic as an expression of lived magic
Newsgroups:: X
Subject ---
date :2004-06-07 03:17:37 PST
Gothic is. ................
- the aesthetic and erotic part of the traditional magic
- visible to bear signs of magic and emotionally, from perceiving to be one
- a thoroughly magical life behind any profanity of being erotic
- an independent mainstream independent esoteric culture against the shallow and materialistic lifestyle
- the lukewarm response to sugar-sweet, anxious and commercially trimmed pink Age
- a blatant affront against secretive, magical traditions
- an internal and external revolt against scientism and loyalty to the state
- the extensive invitingly lived realization that dark, the light creates
- faith, option and open to subjective, magical experience much use above average emotional similarities
- sounds like clothing as a magical means to tap the vast spiritual experience
- the dark erotic energy as a constant companion of the day to day to use life
- is the practical, orgasmic living philosophy of Satanism
- is the ritualized hope and permanently lived invocation of invisible magic powers and entities
- is the demonstration, advertising, and warning to narrow-minded, materialistic and narrow-minded fanatics
- creates the alternative, magical islands in a rectified, sick and boring society
- is the aggressive production to control demons of lust
- is the willingness to fight for the ideals of the night
- is the elitist Meeting of the black warrior to armed and ready to take control of dark powers
- is the courage of his own shadow ride
- the erotic pleasure satanic, magical fantasy visible, objective reality is to be let
Greetings X
- --------
yes, are you flat, what.
I particularly like the imagery. especially the "dark erotic energy" and the "demon of lust" are talking to everyone. The photographs and Express readers, who even then the pictures of Manuela Ruda (in paint on the cemetery) and naked Satanist cult sacrifice, kneeling before her veiled master, has brought down a secret.
okay, I might have the "experience far above emotional average speeds" (oh, there are more average than ONE!) Are not as stressed because I've asked this once, what one's used to do at the below-average intelligence.
but "to fight for the ideals of the night" would turn shawm sounded like sweet in the ears of every teenage, poetry zurechtkritzelnden outsiders "gossick" be. and who is always already frustrated by too little recognition, which is all too happy with the "elite" of the "black war" identify, even if it is just fat people with too much stage make-up, pseudo-angry grunzmusikhörer with "magic library" or exaggerated breasts-with-ass-intelligence vacuum container is, who meet once a year on the wgt.
really super prerequisites for wide popularity. has
the X in this newsgroup but not receive. Instead, call even loud when was the Gothic, then it would be time, the "gothic" to be removed from the title of the news group - the main thing is it would create "the Spacken" from the neck. because X was also not at all amused and then immediately withdrew the mitdiskutierenden arbitrarily the GothCard:
It just keeps getting horny, are now for you at once the people of the goth scene all Spacken? How can it be to be an absolute reside in a Gothic-enemy as long as such designated group? Was it not you at all clear what the goth scene?
no, it was not clear. I was a very different planet that would not even come on the edge of the orbit of X in contact. your bac is my bac, but I is not your gothic gothic.
but X was very accommodating and made it all again recorded in detail (quotes of the previous speaker are set in italics, notes of mine are underlined):
I mean, I like listening to Bauhaus, Virgin Prunes, Sex Gang Children and Christian Death
Gothic is not a genre, or even a musical style
well, first time I am happy about every newbie who thinks that, exceptionally not only gothic clothes and Satanism is - ie: hell, yes, and whether that has to do with a musical style! and secondly, contrary to X, the very next paragraph by features of the "real" gothic-music are listed :
but shall clearly a scene and associated lifestyle, as described above. The Gothic's a rather listen to music and bandwidth ranging from Death Metal to selected songs from the pop mainstream. They have in common texts clearly magical, esoteric content and corresponding stylistic expression and instrumentation. Gothics-songs are essentially based on the harmonic and choral structures of Celtic folklore and magical ritual chants, the text of ideas come along and from the major schools of magic
classic Gothic era, including the then dress and behavior. Goths gather for ritual reasons, the typical dance and movement behavior
also the courtship ?
Tranceritualien the medieval secret societies are borrowed.
goths take themselves as directly from the Middle Ages people incarnated true
ZAPP!
the emotional nor the time of the Gothic Cultures are bound.
you often have the ability to go back to their previous lives, have more healing sized, psychic abilities
course they have this would be out for as the SENSE quarkgebrösel in the whole thing when it gifted normal whole, less interesting and only moderately people would have to operate like all other sex in missionary position and proceed to fuck the loo! - No, you will also want to contact this beauty can be special. For example, a thousand-year-old soul :
and my people recognize, that they involved more than a thousand years in very magical unearthly way.
but Eh ... somehow I seem to have missed the gothic development.
This has been in the goth scene from the outset, because there have been no development of anything. You have until today and probably not only knew what Gothic really is.
scholli my dear. I can accept that the so-called "goths" were originally nothing but a mixture of fine punk and new romantics. I can accept that today's "gothic" scene quite a shit has to do with what was in the 80s and early 90s as a waver and Goths began. that is verifiable, experienced, and sometimes sad reality.
why someone now has broken for THIS diffuse esoteric Satanism child-sex-rebellion-magic-mixture of all the term "gothic" under the nail, I shall forever remain a mystery. because even if you "gothic" translated and therefore receives the epoch of Gothic, not even the goths will have so stood beside him.
sometimes I'm damn glad that almost nobody knows what "Waver" are.
've now often hit his head on the table. makes me an 'nen bound to the bulge, right?
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