Enlarged Liver Ultrasound

refektion

after 2nd hour, I went home and took a shower. On the way to my old school I was pretty nervous. I will admit though reluctantly, but I was afraid my old classmates to take. Today, I have indeed seen very few, and they were usually very nice to me.
but I am aware how unpopular and misunderstood where I am. I generally go by the pretty ass, but unfortunately I can not say that it does not affect me. probably does not hurt, but I do have my thoughts. and but these are thought last one for me. I have to think about how I can best protect and how I can best respond to hurt others more than they hurt me.
like to come, because even in a round where you will not like this or that.
today was negligible and it is otherwise the same. but I did not feel good that I had a day like this, think about it.

end I had ne entertainment with andi and Thomas gave me a lift.

arrived, everything was black, but there was light since. While the mourning was in the air, but the wind carried them away to me.
until we in the church and were all slowly came to rest, I was depressed, as the sadness in the air was trapped. it was almost palpable, she lay like a cloud over all mourners. Of course one might say that this event has seen before.
for me it was the first time, it was not only remarkable, but much more depressing.

I stood at the back, looked as little as was heard as little as was felt as little as could. I thought. but the position that I chose was just right for my character, as I found out later. I am certainly not a traditional gafferin, but I like to watch people, discreet and unnoticed. I am not surprised with mouth open, but watch the movements of the person in the smallest details.
maybe that's a mistake, perhaps people should have a coarser observation, so that they do not always see everything, because it might be unpleasant, angering and sad. for themselves and never for the watch.

I did not think that I cry. anyway I did not know what to expect.
my first funeral. I would have probably cried
ncht, I would have recognized not all the hymns that we have time in his religious teaching vorberetet if we all had a worship leading by 3 months.
integrate the melancholy in which sounds, by The whole church seemed sounded as messengers of sadness.
then I felt freer and livelier than at any other time that day.

preaches. sermon. not only that I was not Christian, I hated this drivel.

earlier when I was little, was God and religion no more than one kind of community and a game that we played together. without thinking about the meaning of words and the effect of the symbols, I did what everyone did. I prayed, I said, "we beseech thee, hear us," I was the "Our Father". even the cross.
What a change in me, which is tantamount to the changes over time for nothing like I felt today, as I stood there, in the last row, on the wall, not folded hands, closed eyes to mouth.
I said no, I did not have to imagine.
remember was on my own some of the fair, nothing that said one of those who touched my heart in the least. I see no Jesus and no god.

In the end I was too busy watching the absurdities of other people, label them as ridiculous and then think about what percentage of people are so like that.

"not cry. We sort it out." which require power such words.
he left 2 small children and a woman. and his family and friends and colleagues and students.
hard we can be realistic. I felt like I was in a closed world full of sorrow and sympathy. Time seemed to stand still, just for this man to remember him to show him their last respects. everything from world seemed ignorant of this, was ignorant, for they ran out of time without further obstacles. our time, however, stopped so we had the opportunity to capture what happened, what happened and what will happen.
this statement probably pushes everything out at once. do not cry, we can do it.
do we have another choice?

I leave it at that today.